Why are warrants so important? Warrants are important because they are the linkages between your claim and your data. They explain HOW COME or IN WHAT WAY or WHY the data actually proves your claim. It's not enough to plunk down a quote as evidence and expect that it will magically Explain It All to your reader without your analysis.
Exercise: George Bernard Shaw, "She Would Have Enjoyed It" In this exercise, a rhetorical analysis task, you will be asked to describe the attitude of the writer George Bernard Shaw to his mother's cremation.
First, you have to determine Shaw's attitude toward his mother.
Then, you have to determine his attitude toward her cremation.
You will determine this by reading the text, of course.
Remember, you are looking for Shaw's ATTITUDE toward his mother and his ATTITUDE toward her cremation. Here are other words that are similar to attitude or tone: * Reaction * Perspective * Viewpoint * Outlook * His "take" on X * His approach to X
Find your BEST piece of evidence that confirms Shaw's attitude toward his mother's cremation.
Find your BEST piece of evidence that confirms Shaw's attitude toward his mother.
*NOTE: TYPICAL THINKING ALERT.One danger in subjects having to do with love (including parental love) and death is falling into the trap of schlocky sentimentalism or typical thinking. In this case, the "typical" attitude of a person toward his mother might be, "Oh, he loves his mom very much because she was always there for him." (Note #2: Never say this, please, in an actual AP essay.) One typical attitude toward a mother's cremation might be, "Oh, it was really terrible for him, and it made him very sad because she was gone forever." (Note #3: Never say this, please, in an actual AP essay.)
In fact, we don't know that this is true. Good writing -- the only kind you'll see on the AP -- tends to present the unexpected, the atypical, the unusual, the deeply unsentimental. In fact, the more likely a subject is to be made trite and meaningless through schlocky sentimentalism, the more likely it is that the writer presented on the AP moves in an entirely unexpected direction. BEWARE. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.
Part Two: Write the Thesis Use the following template in order to help you.
NOTE: This is a deliberately workmanlike, even boring template. If you write an essay using this thesis, it will probably get an AP score of 6 or 7.
Why do that? The reason I am giving you a 6 or 7 template here is that the Shaw piece and the writing we do for it is an exercise we learn at the beginning of AP. At the beginning of the course, we need to figure out what to say -- that is, we need to figure out the demands of the prompt, to assemble our evidence, to check it for relevance, and to put our thoughts in an intelligent and reasonable order. Essays that receive grades of 6 or 7 are accomplishing the task of the prompt reasonably well: they answer the stinking question, have appropriate evidence, logically arrange ideas, and present their thoughts in reasonably clear language.
Then why doesn't it get a grade of 8 or 9? It doesn't get a grade of 8 or 9 because at that level, it's not WHAT you say, it's HOW you say it. It's the difference between a good, solid, well-balanced, attractively presented meal of steak and potatoes versus a gourmet production that would make Gordon Ramsay weep from sheer bitter envy.
THE SIX-to-SEVEN THESIS TEMPLATE In [T.A.G. -- that is, title, author, genre], Shaw's [_____________ (attitude)] to his mother and his [__________(attitude)] to her creation are revealed through his [____(diction)] and his [__________(detail)} in order to express his idea that___________________________________________.
Example: In T.S. Eliot's modernist poem "The Waste-Land," Eliot's apocalyptically grim vision of the ending of the world and his nihilistic view of humankind are revealed through his deceptively simple language reminiscent of nursery rhymes, and through his opening image of mankind as hollow scarecrows in order to express his idea that life is fundamentally fragmented and chaotic.
A NOTE:Notice that you don't have to use the word "attitude," the word "diction," or the word "detail." That's why I put them in parentheses in the template, to show that the words themselves were optional. In fact, if you can think of synonyms instead, it would be better because then you avoid "parroting" the prompt -- that is, repeating the exact words of the prompt in exactly the manner given to you.
Write the Data and the Warrant The thesis was your claim, of course, and if this were an entire essay as opposed to a much shorter assignment, you would be developing multiple examples of Shaw's tone here. Since it is not, you will be developing THE ONE BEST example of Shaw's tone.
Explain the data through abundant context, using the following as your checklist:
Did you explain the SOAPSTone -- the Speaker, Occasion, Audience, Purpose, Style, and Tone?
Did you wisely avoid making your context sound like a checklist?
Did you keep the data BRIEF AND FOCUSED, with no more than 5 consecutive words presented at a time?
Did you CITE?
The Warrant: Tips for Improvement
Did you begin your warrant with paraphrase, if necessary?
Did you use the word "because" or "since"? (You should.)
Did you explain how come THIS WORD and NO OTHER WORD was crucial to communicating Shaw's message?
Did you avoid simply asserting -- that is, telling me "This proves X is true"? Did you move on to show WHY I should believe you?
Did you GO BEYOND THE OBVIOUS and tell me what ISN'T immediately apparent, ISN'T clear to everyone? You should.
Warrants (Commentary) that Work -- and Don't Work
WHAT DISTINGUISHES HIGH LEVEL COMMENTARY FROM MIDDLE AND LOW LEVEL?
1. Commentary must actually explain, not just assert.
Example of Low-Level Commentary: "Shaw says that his mother's cremation "is wonderful." This shows that he feels wonder at the ceremony."
Why: This is an assertion, not an explanation! Try to avoid phrases like “this shows that” or “this proves that” because they are almost always assertions rather than explanations. Also note that the supposed commentary merely repeats what was in the quote – “wonderful”/wonder.]
Example of Medium-Level Commentary: "In the actual cremation process, Shaw describes it as being miraculous, having 'a garnet colored, lovely flame... and my mother became that beautiful fire.' Shaw's attitude portrays no regrets, sadness or remorse. He explains his mother's cremation with descriptive details of wonderment and happiness.
Why: This is an improvement over the Low example in that it does interpret the quote by stating what Shaw’s attitude is. It also states a technique, “descriptive details.” However, it does NOT specify particular words from the quote, which you should do, nor does it attempt to explain a connection between particular words and the attitude it posits.] Another tipoff is the wordiness of the phrase "the cremation PROCESS" where simply "cremation" would have worked just as well -- or better.
Example of Better Commentary: "Shaw uses words throughout this piece that are incongruously juxtaposed to the funeral setting. Shaw comments about the furnace used to cremate his mother: "...but it is wonderful." Contrary to convention, "wonderful" is not typically used to describe crematory furnaces, and therefore adds to the whimsical tone...
Why? This improves on both the low and medium-level examples because it does attempt to explain how the words reveal the author's tone. The author goes back and explains the significance of the word "wonderful," connects it to the tone, and goes beyond it by pointing out that Shaw's tone is contrary to convention -- in other words, the author has successfully avoided the Schlocky Sentimentalism trap.
2. Commentary must show understanding beyond the obvious.
Example of Low-Level Commentary: "Shaw makes the furnace sound pleasant by using words like "clean, cool and sunny."
Why? Making a connection between” clean, cool & sunny” and “pleasant” requires very little thought or imagination.
Example of Medium-Level Commentary: "When waiting to see her cremated, he describes the furnace as being "cool, clean and sunny." By describing it as such, he conveys to his audience that the cremation is also beautiful and not a bad thing."
Why? This is better than the Low because this commentary does more: it provides a context for the quote; it suggests a connection between the quote and the whole passage (furnace to cremation) and it attempts to explain how the effect is created. Notice, though, that the author uses too many pronouns (it, he) and a notably weak vocabulary ("bad thing") that fails to describe the passage or its effect.
Example of Better Commentary: "Shaw uses the descriptive terms 'wonderful,' 'clean, cool, and sunny' not because he's crazy, but in order to depict the furnace as his mother's entrance into Heaven. Words such as sunny, miraculously, and beautiful all connote a heavenly aspect to the reader's mind."
Why? This is better than the other two because it actually takes a simplistic and incorrect interpretation (he’s crazy) and explains that Shaw is viewing cremation as a step to a higher plane of existence and therefore as a moment to be celebrated. In doing so, the commentary moves beyond reductive or simplistic views and searches for that higher purpose.
3. Commentary takes as much space as is needed to really explain what the writer understands from the quote.
LOOK AT THE EXAMPLES FOR POINT 2. Length is not necessarily good, but the "better" example took the time to state explicitly which words in the quote were important and exactly what the effect of the words in the quote was.
4. Whenever possible, commentary uses the appropriate technical term for the technique being discussed.
MEDIUM-- He ends the excerpt by giving a description of the preparation of the ashes. He said, 'the end was wildly funny; Mama would have enjoyed it enormously.' He also says that it was a 'merry episode.' These last two comments show that he was at peace with his decision.
This commentary talks all around the point without actually making it. HOW do they show he was at peace?? Through connotation, but the writer never says so.
BETTER-- "The persona is in first person singular, then it changes to first person plural after the persona comes back to see the end of the cremation. Shaw's mother in spirit follows him back to the end of the cremation, '[enjoying] it enormously,' which means she is free from her body and is now at peace to laugh, just like the persona.
Notice that the use of technical language in the first sentence allows the writer to make the point clearly and succinctly.
5. Obviously, commentary must be correct.
NOT TRUE-- "O grave where is thy victory?" This comment shows that Shaw believes cremation is more dignified than burial.
Why: No, it doesn't.
6. Commentary must connect to the question; that is, it must actually help answer the question that was asked. OFF-TOPIC: "The entire piece moves like one interminable run-on sentence, keeping the pace moving very fast." Why: While this may be true, it has nothing to do with Shaw's attitude toward either his mother or her cremation.
Still Struggling? Click here for a supplementary exercise to help write this essay. Because it is very mechanical, it is best used for students who are struggling with academic language and organization.