A number of students struggle with different aspects of data -- embedding quotations, managing the length of quotations, matching quotations to claims, and citing data correctly in MLA style. This lesson will help with some of those challenges.
Helpful Supplement: See Timm Frietas' information on purpose statements and incorporating data smoothly.
Choosing DataData Must Match the Claim This may seem very obvious, but students struggle with this concept all the same. Bottom line, your data must match your claim. If in your claim, you talk about the author's love for hedgehogs, rhetorical questions, and Channing Tatum, then be sure that the actual words you quote from the text you are using as data contain the following words or their close synonyms:
"Hedgehogs"
An example of a rhetorical question
"Channing Tatum"
One self-test you can do is this: Are there key words in your claim that you can physically put your finger on in the data? If not, then your data doesn't match your claim.
Teaching Note
At this point, pass out the student exercise below. Explain that in each of the claims, there are key words or concepts that MUST BE supported by the data. If it's not in the data, it can't be in the claim. Bottom line, the words or ideas in the data must be the same words as in the claim (or at least similar words and/or related ideas.) If the claim is using words or ideas that are not in the data, then that claim (or that part of the claim) is simply not supported.
I often use the metaphor of a roof supported by columns and draw this on the board. If the claim says it will be speaking about hedgehogs, Channing Tatum, and litotes, then I need to see a piece of data about hedgehogs AND Channing Tatum AND litotes. If I see nothing about hedgehogs, my "roof" is unstable and will fall.
Working Through the Example
Walk through the first example and BE EXACTING. Make students prove every major idea in the claim.
Here's an example of what this would look like.
Teacher: "Okay, so in this claim, it says, 'Adams convinces her son that her opinion is worthy because not only is she his parent, but she is also extensively well-educated in the examples given in classical Roman history.' What are the important words or ideas in this claim?" (Students will usually suggest parent, educated, and Roman history as important ideas).
Teacher: "So which of the data statements matches or supports or uses the same ideas as parent, educated, and Roman history?" (Students will usually suggest the quotation beginning, "In the still calm of life...")
Teacher: "What part of that statement supports that she is educated? Which part supports the idea of Roman history?" (Students will usually easily find the Roman history allusions and use those to infer, correctly, that she is educated. The part they won't be able to find in that quote is the idea that her opinion is worthy because she is his parent. It's arguable, but not strongly supported, and not in this particular quote.)
Why This Matters
Though there are exceptions, of course, many students in AP have a very strong desire to keep everything and justify everything. They struggle with being assertive about eliminating multiple-choice answers that are not well-supported by evidence from the text because as students, they're used to finding "the best answer," NOT the "least worst answer," as is often the case on a particularly tough MC question.
The problem with that mindset is that students will often select a MC answer that is only partially supported by the text and essentially overlook or ignore that part of the MC answer that is NOT supported by the text.
By walking through the claims in the exercise below and making students argue for every important idea in the claim directly echoing the data, the students learn the valuable writing skill of claims matching data and the valuable multiple-choice skill that a right answer will be ALL RIGHT or ALL WRONG. There is no halfway. Half right = all wrong.
Optional Writing One option is to work through the entire set of claims from 1-6 as a class. At that point, students may choose either #7 or #8 to work through on their own, justifying their reasoning in a short paragraph and using evidence to support their argument that the claim is entirely supported, partially supported, or not supported by the data.
Student Exercise: Match the Data to the Claim
Directions In one column, you will see a number of student claims about a letter written from Abigail Adams, wife of second American president John Adams, to her son John Quincy Adams, himself a future president. Match the data to the claim that is BEST supported by the data.
Be Careful:
Not all data will match a particular claim
Not all claims will be supportable by the data that is there
Some claims are completely spurious or are deliberate misreadings of the text.
Some data can apply to more than one claim.
Claims
Adams convinces her son that her opinion is worthy not only because she is his parent, but also because she is extensively well-educated in classical Roman history, which she draws upon for examples.
By using the metaphor of a river, Adams is suggesting that her son will grow and develop as he leaves his home and goes out into the world.
Adams is saying that her son will regret leaving his home, the source of the "rich veins of minerals," or good qualities, he has picked up.
Adversity brings out the greatest attributes of human character; hardship makes us stronger and better people.
Cicero was a tyrant who fought with Marc Antony.
Adams is suggesting that her son's nature is in need of improvement, especially because he needs to pay attention.
Abigail Adams regrets her decision to urge her son to go on the voyage, especially since he didn't want to.
Abigail Adams is not only stating that John Quincy cannot act in his own best interests yet, but also implying a classic idea beloved of parents everywhere: mother knows best.
Data
A. If I thought your reluctance [to go to France with your father] arose from proper deliberation, or that you were capable of judging what was most for your own benefit, I should not have urged you [to go] when you appeared so averse to the voyage.
B. Some author that I have met with compares a judicious traveler to a river that increases its stream the farther it flows from its source, or to certain springs which, running through rich veins of minerals, improve their qualities as they pass along.
C. Nothing is wanting with you but attention, diligence, and steady application. Nature has not been deficient.
D. It is not in the still calm of life, or the repose of a pacific station, that great characters are formed. Would Cicero have shone so distinguished an orator if he had not been roused, kindled, and enflamed by the tyranny of Catiline, Milo, Verres, and Marc Antony?
E. Great necessities call forth great virtues.
Key and Explanations
Claim 1: PARTIALLY SUPPORTED by Data D. See the explanation above.
Claim 2: ENTIRELY SUPPORTED by Data B. Metaphor = "compares a...traveler to a river"; Grow and develop = "increases his stream"; Leaves his home and goes out into the world = "...the farther it flows from its source."
Claim 3: NOT SUPPORTED. This claim is based on a misreading of Adams' statements. She does not regret John Adams' leaving home; in fact, she thoroughly supports it. Home is not the source of the "rich veins," but instead, traveling abroad in the world is that source.
Claim 4: ENTIRELY SUPPORTED by Data E. The second half of Data E is a restatement of the first half, and therefore matches it. Adversity...hardship = "Great necessities"; greatest attributes of human character...stronger and better people = "great virtues."
Claim 5: NOT SUPPORTED. This claim is based on a misreading. The passage does not say that Cicero was a tyrant, but rather, that Antony was. The phrase "fought with" is ambiguous (Does it mean that Cicero fought against Marc Antony, or on his same side?), but either way, Cicero was not a tyrant.
Claim 6: ENTIRELY SUPPORTED by Data C.Her son's nature is in need of improvement = "Nothing is wanting with you but..."; he needs to pay attention = "...but attention." NOTE: Students will often need to have the word "wanting" in this context clarified as "lacking" or "deficient" rather than "desiring" or "wishing."
Claim 7: PARTIALLY SUPPORTED by Data A. Some students will miss the crucial "IF" in that first sentence, leading to the structure IF I thought X, [THEN] I should not have Y, but the use of that "if" signals clearly that those conditions did not apply: John's reluctance did not arise from proper deliberation and he also was not capable of judging what was most for his own benefit. Since those two conditions do not apply, then she would not have urged him to go. The claim is supported in the statement "when you appeared so averse to the voyage."
. If I thought your reluctance [to go to France with your father] arose from proper deliberation, or that you were capable of judging what was most for your own benefit, I should not have urged you [to go] when you appeared so averse to the voyage.
Quoting Data: The KISS RuleKeep It Super-Short
Most of the time, especially on the AP rhetorical analysis essay, it is NOT to your benefit to quote more than about seven consecutive words at a time.
Readers and teachers have already read the text.
They don't need to read it again.
They need to read YOUR WORDS, not the author's words.
Data is NOT a substitute for analysis any more than a cup of flour is substitute for cake: you have to *do something* with it.
The Finger Rule If a quotation is longer than your finger, you probably need to cut it down unless it is SO clear that the context or syntax is SO important that to do so would be to render the quote useless. Embed the QuoteWhat "Embed" Means: Take It and Break It
To embed a quote means to take a quotation, break it up into smaller chunks, and incorporate the really relevant parts into your OWN sentence, and cite it.
Example of a student paper with a quote that has not been embedded:
Abigail Adams reminds her son that he is very privileged and is lucky to have such a good family. "Favored with superior advantages under the instructive eye of a tender parent" (Adams 34).
See how clumsy and clunky that sounds? Do you "hear" how the reader has to stop before reading the quote? A better solution would be to break up the quote and make it "flow" into the author's own sentence.
Example of an embedded quote:
Abigail Adams reminds her son that not only is he "favored with superior advantages" personally, but also that his "tender parent" has kept an "instructive eye" on his upbringing and has raised him well (Adams 34).
Student Exercise: Embed the Quote
Directions
For each of the following examples, rewrite the sentence to embed the quote, following the rules below:
Your sentence must begin and end with YOUR WORDS, not the author's words.
Your sentence should end with a correct citation in MLA style. Punctuation goes AFTER the parentheses, not before.
The quotations should not be longer than an average human finger. Keep it generally fewer than seven words at a time.
You may have to rewrite the sentence substantially.
The student may have failed to use MLA style in citing the quotation. Fix it, please.
The student may have embedded poorly, creating a run-on sentence. Fix it, please.
Sentences to Rewrite
Abigail Adams uses examples from Roman history to convince her son that hard times bring out character. "Would Cicero have shone so distinguished an orator if he had not been roused, kindled, and enflamed by the tyranny of Catiline, Milo, Verres, and Marc Antony?" This was said in line 45.
"War, tyranny, and desolation are the scourges of the Almighty and ought no doubt to be deprecated. Yet it is your lot, my son, to be an eyewitness of these calamities in your native land." In lines 46 through 48, Abigail Adams is saying that is unfortunately true that her son had to personally witness the warfare brought about by the American Revolution.
Abigail Adams states, "The strict and inviolable regard you have ever paid to truth gives me pleasing hope that you will not swerve from her dictates," she is saying that she hopes John Quincy Adams will always remain an honest person. (Abigail Adams, line 56).